Greasy Chip Butty

.:: Friday, November 28, 2003

Much better than watching those poxy British Standard fireworks go off!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:54 PM Add a

EMAIL SCAM

There is another scam going on out there. You should send this to any women you know and care about.

If a man comes to your door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR TITS.

This is a scam. He is only trying to see your tits.

Thank you.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:28 PM Add a

.:: Thursday, November 27, 2003

OMG WTF!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!1 ROFLMAO

Thanks to Tim for the Link.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:25 PM Add a

.:: Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Busted beaten off by Jacko

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 4:56 PM Add a

Avon and Somerset Constabulary - Examples of real 999 calls PSML

Caller: "My wife's left me two salmon sandwiches which was left over from last night... and I'm a sat in the chair here and she's out there decorating. She won't put any food on or anything for anybody, I don't know what...."

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 2:06 PM Add a

Probably the best job in the world.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:37 AM Add a

.:: Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2003.
DONT DOWNLOAD KAZAA VERSION 2.6
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, downloadingKazaa VERSION 2.6 WOULD NOT BE IT.
The long term benefits of dowloading Version 2.6 have been proved by scientists to cause all kinds of problems for your PC leading to cause anger and frustration.
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering existence.
I will dispence this advice above.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:48 PM Add a

BOING!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:14 PM Add a

Movie Time. Greasy Chip Butty and Bollywood style.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:58 AM Add a

.:: Monday, November 24, 2003

Very Clever and quite amusing.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 3:31 PM Add a

To infinity and beyond!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 3:27 PM Add a

Wonder how long Amazon will take to notice it's Customers are recommending a book on When Your Child Has Been Molested : A Parent's Guide to Healing and Recovery to people that buy his Number Ones album.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 3:25 PM Add a

Google is Great. Look what gets to #1 when searching for HFC Bank Slough.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:53 PM Add a

.:: Sunday, November 23, 2003

Beef Curtains. Perhaps it's an old fashoned design.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:36 PM Add a

What will they come up with next?

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:30 PM Add a

.:: Thursday, November 20, 2003

HFC Bank. Slough.

Thats HFC Bank. Slough Branch. If Google wasn't listening, thats HFC Slough. HFC - in Slough. Crooks. Have nothing to do with them.

Have nothing to do with these crooks, the crooks in question being HFC in Slough.

Ever. I mean it. HFC Slough Branch. Crooks.

Why? About 18 months ago I bought a PC for about £900 from PC World. I paid £500 cash and took the rest out as a loan with PC World. Ok the interest rate wasn't great but the repayments were a piece of piss for about the life of the PC so I didn't worry about it. About 3 months later I was continually harranged by the crooks at HFC Bank (Slough) [seemingly PC Worlds Agents] about how much better off I would be if I moved accounts. I agreed to an appointment for a Saturday morning but was too hungover to go in. The crooks phoned me up then almost non stop after that 'informing me of a great deal' etc etc. they had. Eventually I rearranged the appointment. And went in.

I got all the spin from the commission slaves about changing to this flexi account which was much better interest as you only pay interest on what you owe [A great deal I was informed]. To get out of the place (The sales rep used the word 'innit after every scentence) I signed the forms and assuming I had got a better deal, thought nothing more of it.

It wasn't until the first statement came through that showed a direct debit of £10 had been paid into the account (this should have been £27 I was paying before) but £7 had been added in Interest. I assumed it was just some calculation for first month and it would settle back down. Now admittedly, after the 2nd bill showed just the same, I meant to contact them, but being the lazy sod I am forgot all about it.

It wasn't until my phone went with the crooks at HFC Bank Slough calling yesterday, informing me that I was on the wrong interest rates that I arranged an appointment for 7pm tonight to discuss my options - they are open late Thursdays to tie in with xmas shopping in Slough (I know the thought sent shudders down my spine).

Anyway, after going through all my details the commission slave I got lumbered with (his reaction as I was waiting in their reception when a 9 year old kid pointed out to him that his pine effect handrail was falling apart was classic 'they didn't teach me this in 'how to fleece people school') assessed my finincial status. He could see from my records I had a credit card balance (with another company) of £1,300 I agreed and informed him, yes, that was my Car insurance that has just been renewed. He then brilliantly informed me that HFC Bank Slough - Yes Google come and get it HFC Bank Slough - could tie together all my loans - this credit card and my loan with them. Amazingly he never even looked up and started filling the application screen in with my details.

Er, no I informed him, all I want to do is move the loan account that was initally at 18% apr from the account that you (after telling me what a great deal it was) moved to 29% apr to what your sales rep informed me could be moved to your personal-flexi-advanced-gold-whatever 14% apr (still not great but if it just meant a signature it was enough for me).

Er, no Mr Edge, you have £253 outstanding on that account and the minimum loan we can do is £500.

I had been shafted. Could be argued my fault for not checking this out earlier, but basically shafted. I didn't swear, didn't shout, just told him to leave everything as it is and walked out. What I am doing now, is this.

NEVER EVER USE HFC BANK IN SLOUGH. THEY ARE CROOKS.

HFC Bank. Slough. Are crooks. Please link to Greasy Chip Butty and give Google some juice. Tell your friends. Tell them to tell their friends. HFC Bank Slough are nothing more than bandits.

HFC Bank in Slough - the one in the Observatory if your interested in fact Google will probably be very interested in HFC bank in Slough Observatory, if you want to get in touch and remedy things you know where the email button is.

Thank You. Normal service is resumed.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:57 PM Add a

Sandwiches. Bloody Brilliant. Especially at Lunchtime. Except on a Friday at work. Then it's lager.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:11 PM Add a

Ok Ben, feeling a bit better now. If it's dead frogs your after look no further than the dead frogs page.

Everyone else can ignore that, unless of course you want to see leeches eating dead frogs, which, actually will probably be most of you.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:03 PM Add a

Oh dear. Oh dear.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:01 PM Add a

.:: Wednesday, November 19, 2003

It could just be that I've been drinking and I'm hungry but this looks lovely.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:13 PM Add a

Only in Russia.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:40 PM Add a

.:: Tuesday, November 18, 2003

CATAPULT. A good 10 minutes worth of fun.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:54 PM Add a

.:: Monday, November 17, 2003

Playdo Graffiti. Join in the fun with the rest of the bored people.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:11 PM Add a

University tries to get down 'wid da kids.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:56 PM Add a

It's a game from Ben who has never let Greasy Chip Butty down before, but it's been a long couple of days and this late at night I couldn't get my head around smushocracy. I'm sure after my 5th coffee in the morning it will all make sense.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:46 PM Add a

The music coupled with the ever extreme violence reminds me of a couple ofWedding receptions gone wrong I've been to.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:44 PM Add a

Monkey Diving.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:33 PM Add a

.:: Friday, November 14, 2003

Remeber These two? The buggers are at it again! Thanks for the link again Ben.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:02 AM Add a

.:: Thursday, November 13, 2003

Tony the old pit pony. He's from Barnsley.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 4:00 PM Add a

Within five questions I was swearing at her. Idiot.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:56 PM Add a

.:: Wednesday, November 12, 2003

How things vary from domain to domain
Tourettes.com

to

Tourettes.co.uk

Probably not safe for work.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:41 PM Add a

Big in Japan. Probably soon to be seen in a nightclub near you.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 5:51 PM Add a

.:: Tuesday, November 11, 2003

The content is safe for work but is from 'fucksociety.com' so be carefull with those firewalls,but hmmmmmmm. . . . . . d o n u t s . . . . . (Needs sound to get the proper effect)

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:22 PM Add a

A draw a crappy line drawing, add the Scribbler print it out and flog it for a gabazillion pounds.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:17 PM Add a

.:: Monday, November 10, 2003

This film is dedicated to those who belive that Italians behave the same as all other Europeans. Class.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:55 PM Add a

Mazda RX-8. If anyone has a more money than sense, they can buy me one if they want. Pretty funny commercial as well.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:42 PM Add a

It's tree hugging, hippy propaganda, but respect is due to THE MEATRIX

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:38 PM Add a

.:: Saturday, November 08, 2003

Someone gave me these two utterly useless web pages - thought you might like to see them and perhaps use them for your site.

Why would the readers of Greasy Chip Butty

not want to see a website where you can do this!

I'm also more of a dog lover but, look at the little cat. Look what it does. It seems a shame to take it down to the canal and drown it just because it isn't as cute as when it was a kitten.

Greasy Chip Butty is made of things like this and we salute all who send us these links. God bless you.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:50 PM Add a

EBAY - You ****HAVE**** to love it.

Let me begin by explaining some very important details, this way I do not get 100's of silly emails asking me to photograph the hind end of some stuffed animals. I DO NOT KNOW crap about these things. This belonged to my ex-wife who had about a 1000 of these Beanie Babies and when she moved, this one box of these got left behind, and now I am selling the goofy little things. Whatever money I make from them will be spent at the local Home Depot on tools and other cool stuff. I do not know which of these babies is retired or new, or whatever. I will list them in no particular order. I will tell you what its name is on the tag, if it has a plastic box or something. All these critter have been stored indoors, and are from a non-smoking home. Again, please do not send me emails asking me to photograp this or that. I am starting the auction at $10.00 and at that price I figure you all can take a chance. I understand from a friends wife that people are afraid to get fakes. FAKES? Fake plush toys? I was amazed. I thought people forged money, not childrens toys. Well I can only say, that 99% of these goofy toys were bought with my money, from eiter the local Hallmark Store, or one of the dozen or so Southern Craft/ collectibles stores I had to go to on a weekly basis buying these ridiculos toys years ago. Happy Bidding! Please take these critters from me so I can buy tools.

Final Notice and Disclaimer: I know nothing about these stuffed Beanie Babies. I offer no proof of anything. It is a stuffed animal, get over it! I don't think my ex-wife was in the Black Market Beanie Trade..but then again, I didn't know she was having an affair either! Thus no gauruntees! All have theior little Heart Shaped tags on their ears.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:35 AM Add a

.:: Friday, November 07, 2003

The Unofficial Borat Homepage

Borat - Why do you like to hunt the fox?

Protestor 1 - I do not hunt the fox! I think people that hunt the fox are the scum of the earth.

(Borat shows the lady his bear hunting badge on his jacket lapel)

Borat - In Kazikstan...

Protestor 1 - You kill bears!

Borat - Yes. Kill them.

Protestor 1 - He kills bears!

Protestor 2 - You kill bears! That's evil

Borat - No. In Kazakhstan we shoot animal. We do not hunt the fox.

Protestor 2 - Well you shouldn't be talking to us because we love animals.

Borat - We love animal too.

Protestor 1 - So why do you shoot them?

Borat - For fun.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:26 AM Add a

*Another* gem of a site from Ben. I'm beginning to think the guy is as screwed up as me. I takes something a shrink would call 'different' to enjoy this game but I certainly enjoyed feeding the nine mouthed baby. I think some of you might too. Especially the ones that wet the bed, set fire to things and torture animals. Thank you please.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:23 AM Add a

.:: Thursday, November 06, 2003

Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes "Sean, I'vegot you a job, starts tomorrow, early. You'll have to be there for 10-ish".
Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? but I don't even have a racket."

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 1:22 PM Add a

Stop the plastic balls falling down the hole.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 1:04 PM Add a

Beaver Liquors Fnnar, Fnarr.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:53 PM Add a

Suicide Bomber Barbie conflates Western commodification with Palestinian desperation. Religious and capitalist dogmas struggle within Barbie’s idealised form, in an artwork of potent incongruity. It is a work whose political stridency is tempered by a well placed humour.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:02 AM Add a

Thanks to Ben for another cracking link. It's Deliverance but not as we know it. Utterley pointless and utterly stupid. Just how we like it.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:39 AM Add a

.:: Monday, November 03, 2003

Oh, I missed this one when it was announced. England up to 3rd in ICC World rankings and SA not too far behind.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:48 PM Add a

Leighton buzzard train station. Someone had graffiti'd
"god is dead" and someone added "sexy" to the end.

Whats the best graffiti you you ever saw. Prepare to spend another full lunchtime.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:36 PM Add a

Worst Album Covers Ever. Does what it says on the tin.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:30 PM Add a

Thanks to a regular contributor John for the link. I'm sure the Drinkometer is a fair and true assessment of how much you have spent on drink in your lifetime, it's just that, well, I'm too scared to take the test and find out. Another drink anyone?

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:26 PM Add a

BBC Radio Five Live - Sporting Century homepage. Why is such a potentially good TV series consigned to Xmas Day lunchtime on Radio 5 when everyone will be in the boozer getting hammered? You can spend all day mulling over this and listening to the clips. For me though, if Botham doesn't win it, it's a travesty. You could perhaps make use of the comment section and let everyone know your winner, but that may be a touch to radical for all you lurkers ;-)

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:23 PM Add a