Greasy Chip Butty

.:: Thursday, March 31, 2005

Pet Strollers

What ever happened to the good old collar and leash ?!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:53 PM Add a

Not help you will I but talk like yoda you will not unless here for my help you are. Hmmmmmmmm?

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:43 PM Add a

I 've taken the question from this thread.

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I really dont think I would have the heart to knock sparko a 5 year old so would give myself 10 before the little twats kick the living shit out of me. What about you? Post your answers in the comments....

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:39 PM Add a

"The bet was who could eat more McDonalds Cheeseburgers. It was a very silly thing to do at eleven o' clock on a Wednesday"t

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:33 PM Add a

Rabbits with Magnets for heads.

Addictive. (Use arrow keys and space bar)

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:27 PM Add a

1001 things to do with liquid nitrogen

My science classes were never like this.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:11 PM Add a

.:: Tuesday, March 29, 2005

PMT Survival Guide for Men

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:44 PM Add a

.:: Sunday, March 27, 2005

Penny Sculptures

Amazing, I just need to find some old pennies to give it a go.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:21 PM Add a

.:: Friday, March 25, 2005

Ingenous.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:58 PM Add a

Well I guess it's a handy place to hang your hat

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:13 PM Add a

Wish You Were Here

I wonder if Judith Chalmers would go here ?

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 6:07 PM Add a

.:: Wednesday, March 23, 2005

How to complain to stores in writing.

Dear Kwik Save

I have just had a can of you No Frills Baked Beans. Unfortunately, as well as having No Frills, the beans had No Taste either. Could it be possible, in an admittedly laudable attempt to force down prices, that by getting rid of the frills you have also got rid of the taste at the same time?

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 7:30 AM Add a

.:: Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Lyle: C'mon boys! The way you's lollygagging around here with them picks and 'em shovels, you'd think it was a hundred and twenty degrees. Can't be more 'n a hundred and fourteen!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 7:51 PM Add a

Pork-loving couple say 'pie do'

Only in Yorkshire....

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:35 AM Add a

.:: Monday, March 21, 2005

Rude London Underground Map

NSFW ...... especially if someone is standing behind you.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:40 PM Add a

.:: Friday, March 18, 2005

The Surrealist Compliment Generator

What else can one say.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:15 PM Add a

This actually mad me laugh a lot more than I thought it would.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:18 PM Add a

BatsBats sends this quite fantastic link in to the The Scottish Parliament homepage. Click on Languages -> Scots.

Some piss take surely!?!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:33 AM Add a

.:: Thursday, March 17, 2005

Snow Sculptures

I am amazed at people who can do this kinda thing.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 8:20 AM Add a

.:: Wednesday, March 16, 2005

It's official ... fish fart

Handy to remember next time you go swimming in the sea.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 1:46 PM Add a

.:: Monday, March 14, 2005

Haunted Nintendo anyone?

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 11:54 PM Add a

Now then I did science at school and don't ever remember seeing these
molecules with silly or unusual names in any of the text books I read.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:21 PM Add a

Look .. no hands !

A chinese guy lifts weights with his penis ... I know his brother .. Wun Hung Low.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:25 PM Add a

.:: Sunday, March 13, 2005

Helicopter Make-over

Imagine opening your windows and seeing this flying about outside .. I think it's pretty cool.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:36 PM Add a

No-Contact Jacket

"When activated by the wearer, 80,000 volts of low amperage electric current pulses just below the surface shell of the entire jacket."

Hmmmm ok ..... but what if it's raining when you go out or thundering and lightening ?!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 1:07 PM Add a

.:: Saturday, March 12, 2005

I am addicted to this game but hadn't seen this great advert for it before.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:05 PM Add a

.:: Friday, March 11, 2005

Head's Up!

Some men are just plain greedy !!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 4:35 PM Add a

Only YOU have the power to Save Toby!

"Toby is the cutest little bunny on the planet. Unfortunately, he will DIE on June 30th, 2005 if you don't help"

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:31 AM Add a

.:: Thursday, March 10, 2005

Barking Mad

US prosecutors trying to crack a murder case realised they were barking up the wrong tree when one of their witnesses turned out to be a small dog.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 9:28 AM Add a

.:: Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Good thinking Batman.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 7:09 PM Add a

Crumbs

Experts have invented a mannequin with a motorised mouth to test the amount of crumbs biscuits produce. But why is it wearing a hairnet ??

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 2:28 PM Add a

.:: Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Sniff Petrol

As always a good read from the Sniff Petrol boys .. this month it's all about motorsport.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:18 PM Add a

Proof that Local Radio is RABBISH!

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 7:35 PM Add a

We're having a party and your all invited!

About 3 years ago America invaded Afghanistan, the first Shrek film was up for best animated film in the Oscars and on Greasychipbutty.com's birthday the mighty Sheffield United dipped 1-0 at home to Milton Keynes. You could say a lot has happenend in that time....

One thing remains thoughout, greasychipbutty.com has been here, showing you what prostitues not to sleep with, what online golf courses to play at and the first post ever made at Greasy Chip Butty the interactive 404 message.

A lot of things have come and gone in this time, but we still keep kicking on and on 1st April 2005 we are 3 years old. There is every intention of carrying on for another 3 years but to mark the occasion of our 3rd birthday we plan to have a celebration that you can all join in on.

Naturally, at an occasion like this I for one would recommend we all get absolulty legless, but this in the internet and beer doesn't work so well, even over broadband lines so we have to think digital so the plan is thus:

GREASY CHIP BUTTY BIRTHDAY SING/DANCE-A-LONG

If we are going to celebrate - lets do it together.

This is what we have planned:

1. You send an email to blog@greasychipbutty.com with your name and postal address before April 1st 2005

2. Everyone else does the same building up a list of interested people partipating in Sing/Dance-a-long.

3. On the 1st April you will be sent an email with the details of A.N. Other random person participating in the scheme.

4. Within 14 days you then burn a CD of your greatest music - whatever your taste* - to celebrate Greasy Chip Buttys 3rd birthday and post it off to your recipient.

5. Sit back and wait

6. Your CD Assignee will send you a CD of his/her best music so you can enjoy at your pleasure!

*At this point it is worth noting that GCB does not condone the use of Limewire, Shareaza, or Torrentspy to collect your music because as I am sure you know this could perhaps be illegal.

Files should fit on 1CD and be capable of playing on an Audio CD or via a PC so straight mp3 files will be allowed.

This system is based on trust - it depends on you sending your CD out to get one back, but you all know that.

If you want to participte or want more info - get in touch

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 12:13 AM Add a

.:: Monday, March 07, 2005

How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

No-one knows - they've never tried. Bub-bum.

Now the French bless em, may have their problems but they do know how to cook a decent meal. I've had snails before and for any adventourous eater out there I would recommend them, especially in a Garlic Sauce - very tasty.

I'm surprised however that theyfearture in this quite addictive flash game though. Perhaps the Frogs legs were missing for them to jump.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:49 PM Add a

My first ever car was a 'H-Reg' Ford Fiesta Bonus 1 Litre that I once famously got to 105mph on the way back down a downhill stretch of the M1 after a Blades midweek home game.

The fiesta seems to have come on a bit these days though as it appears to take corners and the associated smashes into walls quite well now.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:44 PM Add a

I got halfway between the first and second circles before the rage came over me.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:35 PM Add a

Stupid Computer Users

With Pictures.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:32 PM Add a

In summary, I think the Viagra people should update their claim that "VIAGRA helps a man with erectile dysfunction get an erection only when he is sexually excited." They should add, "...but anything will get him sexually excited, including the Holy Word of God."

Or buying Viagra online and taking it in Church.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:21 PM Add a

Bloody Students.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:04 PM Add a

They like to push the pram-a-lot.

Email: Greasy Chip Butty Posted at 10:02 PM Add a

.:: Sunday, March 06, 2005